


quit

by A Magiluna Stormwriter (ariestess)



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Analysis, Character Development, Character Study, Developing Relationship, F/F, Friendship/Love, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Romantic Friendship, Swan Queen Supernova 2020 (Once Upon a Time), Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:40:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26226535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariestess/pseuds/A%20Magiluna%20Stormwriter
Summary: Everything in life boils down to a split second decision made in the heat of the moment. Anyone that tells you otherwise is a lying son of a bitch. Yes, you may plan and theorize all you want in advance, but the true decision is made at the last second, a mental coin flip ofDo I or don't I?that will have repercussions you deal with for the rest of your life. The same goes for everyone around you. No one lives in a vacuum, after all.AKA That time Emma risked her own soul for the woman she loves.
Relationships: Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan
Comments: 14
Kudos: 88
Collections: Swan Queen Supernova V: Forever Starstruck





	quit

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dumblamp](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dumblamp/gifts).
  * Inspired by [quit](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26290432) by [dumblamp](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dumblamp/pseuds/dumblamp). 



> Date Written: 23-31 August 2020  
> Word Count: 5109  
> Written for: SQSupernova 2020  
> Artist: dumblamp  
> Link to art: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26290432  
> Summary: Everything in life boils down to a split second decision made in the heat of the moment. Anyone that tells you otherwise is a lying son of a bitch. Yes, you may plan and theorize all you want in advance, but the true decision is made at the last second, a mental coin flip of _Do I or don't I?_ that will have repercussions you deal with for the rest of your life. The same goes for everyone around you. No one lives in a vacuum, after all. 
> 
> AKA That time Emma risked her own soul for the woman she loves.  
> Spoilers: Canon divergent missing scene taking place during the end of episode 04x23 "Operation Mongoose, Part 2". Everything we know about all of the characters is up for grabs.  
> Warnings: No standard warnings apply.  
> Website: ShatterStorm Productions – Doggie Duo  
> Link to: http://bdkk.shatterstorm.net/  
> Archive: ShatterStorm Productions & AO3 only…all others ask for permission & we'll see…  
> Feedback: Constructive criticism is always welcome.
> 
> Author’s Disclaimer: "Once Upon a Time," the characters, and situations depicted are the property of Adam Horowitz, Edward Kitsis, Kitsis/Horowitz, and ABC Studios. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes. Previously unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. This site is in no way affiliated with "Once Upon a Time," ABC, or any representatives of the actors.
> 
> Author’s Notes: I found dumblamp's video fascinating and was trying to figure out what I wanted to do for my fic, and then it hit me with that whole idea of exploring why Emma chose to take on the Dark One powers for Regina. This became a little more introspective than I expected, and I was expecting a lot. LOL But I think it still worked out in the end. I hardly ever write from Emma's POV anymore, as I have a lot of issues with her, but this needed to be from her POV, and I think it worked out perfectly. 
> 
> Dedication: My muses, as always…
> 
> Beta: Not at the moment, but I think spellcheck and I caught everything…

Everything in life boils down to a split second decision made in the heat of the moment. Anyone that tells you otherwise is a lying son of a bitch. Yes, you may plan and theorize all you want in advance, but the true decision is made at the last second, a mental coin flip of _Do I or don't I?_ that will have repercussions you deal with for the rest of your life. The same goes for everyone around you. No one lives in a vacuum, after all. 

You knew the darkness would come for someone among you. It wouldn't just leave Rumpelstiltskin and disappear without a fight or a new host to corrupt. Oh, everyone hopes it'll just go away, but they're all fairytale characters from a land of fairytales. You're a realist, a pragmatist from the real world where that kind of thinking can get you killed if you're not careful. Even though you do believe now -- and how can you not, after having been to the Enchanted Forest, and Neverland, and the past, and nearly frozen to death right here in Storybrooke, not to mention that whole apple turnover incident in the first months after you came to town -- even though you do believe now, there is still a part of you that will always look for the ways that the world is out to get you and those to whom you opened your heart.

On high alert, you search the night sky, trying to track something that is more than capable of blending into the shadows. It isn't until you hear her sudden gasp that you realize what's happening. And you hate yourself for not reacting sooner, not guessing what is now so obvious. It swirls around her like a writhing pit of vipers with the prospect of a juicy meal.

Look at her. 

She's terrified. She doesn't want this, she never has. The dark magic, and magic in general, was a defense mechanism to protect a heart that had been broken and beaten more times than any one person should bear in a single lifetime. Hell, it was more than half a dozen lifetimes' worth of abuse. She thought she could control it, bend it to her will, like every addict you've ever met. In the end, it permeated her entire life, suffocating the goodness her father instilled in her. But it didn't kill her.

Look at her. 

She's the most beautiful woman you've ever met. From the first moment you met her that night when Henry tricked you into bringing him back to Storybrooke, bringing you _home_ , there was a part of you that always knew she would forever be in your life. And not just because of your shared son, though he's a damned good reason in and of himself, of course.

~ ~ ~ *** ~ ~ ~

_He reluctantly heads up the walk in front of you, defiance radiating off him like the heat of a thousand suns, as well as a bit of fear that taps into some innate protection mode of yours that you didn't realize you had. He stops as the front door opens, guard going up when a brunette comes running out toward the two of you, and you'd swear he's going to bolt if you're not careful. But then your eyes are drawn to the brunette as she calls out his name in an anguished, frightened tone, and that protective instinct kicks in even harder. Only this time, it's for_ her _, not the kid that you gave up for his best chance a little over ten years and two months ago._

_"Henry… Are you okay? Where have you been? What happened?"_

_The brunette's -- the kid's_ mom _, idiot -- voice brings you back to the present from that little trip down memory lane that you never wanted to be on in the first place. Movement behind her reveals some guy standing there, the glint of metal on his chest and the obvious service weapon strapped to his hip. Great! His mom brought the cops into it, and you just brought the kid back over state lines. You're a bail bondsman, you do this shit for a living. You know_ exactly _how fucked you could be right now._

 _"I found my_ real _mom!" Henry yells, pushing off and running past her into the house._

_You watch as she follows his progress briefly before turning back to face you, a strange blend of grief and calculation in her eyes, and a shiver runs down your spine._

_"Y-You're Henry's birth mother?"_

_"Hi."_

_It's the lamest thing you've ever said, but it's all that manages to come out of your mouth. You can't look away from those fathomless eyes. You'd happily drown in their depths if you could. You've lived a full enough life so far, even if you never found an actual family to call your own. She's worth… The cop wanders back into the mansion like he lives there, and he probably does. There is no way you could be lucky enough that she's anything but absolutely straight and probably married or engaged to that dude._

_"How would you like a glass of the best apple cider you've ever tasted?"_

_"Got anything stronger?"_

_It's just as lame, but better than nothing, right? And a drink gives you the chance to spend more time in her presence. Well, Henry's, too. You can't leave without knowing he's in a good home, getting his best chance, even if he's got some crazy fantasies going on in his head. Most kids that age do. You kept dreaming you'd find your parents and they'd whisk you away from the hell of your foster homes. Who are you to judge him for his own fantasies?_

~ ~ ~ *** ~ ~ ~

She's panicking, eyes so wide with fear that you can see a thin rim of white around those dark irises that you'd still willingly drown in. The swirling vortex of darkness is encroaching on her personal space, but hasn't completely hindered her movement, and yet she still stands stock still with her arms tightly at her sides. Those expressive eyes dart around, likely searching for an escape route, but keep returning to you, pleading with you to do _something_.

There are four other adults standing on this damned street like fucking statues, just staring at her, and that includes her _soulmate_. The designation, its significance, rankles in your own soul, and you see the darkness pause for the briefest of seconds. When he turns to you to ask for help, like you're some all-knowing magical genius, like you're _her_ , you want to slap him for his stupidity. But in the next breath, you realize that you need someone to be that same all-knowing magical genius for _you_ right now. You're the Savior and he's looking to you for help, they all are. But the only one who matters is _her_.

He runs toward the swirling miasma, as if his moral code will afford him the ability to stop centuries of dark intent. You barely bite back the sharp bark of laughter simmering just under the surface when he's flung backward from it, failing just as you expected he would. None of them have the magic to combat the darkness. You're the Savior, the prophesied greatest wielder of light magic, and you have no idea how to defeat it.

But you'll do anything to save her, even if it means risking your very life.

~ ~ ~ *** ~ ~ ~

_She opens the door to stare at you warily. It disappears briefly as she glances past you, clearly looking for the son you share, but returns just as quickly when she realizes he's not with you._

_"He's with my folks, already fast asleep probably. This isn't about him anyway."_

_She narrows her eyes to study your face. "If it's not about my son, Ms. Swan, then why are you here at nearly midnight? Don't you have a family to return to? A crowd of adoring townspeople to fawn all over you? Or are you here on their behalf? Come to end the Evil Queen, stripped of her magic, in the middle of the night where my son can't be witness? Tell me, Ms. Swan, what tales will you spin for him to justify coldblooded murder?"_

_You stare at her, mind still trying to catch up to the mental gymnastics routine she just put you through. The glint of tears is brief, and their sudden disappearance fascinates you every bit as much as their equally sudden appearance. The fact that she showed you even that tiny sliver of vulnerability after what you said to her before… She is a far better woman than you are, Evil Queen be damned._

_"I have no murderous intentions, Regina," you finally say. "I just want to talk."_

_"We have nothing to talk about. You made it abundantly clear at the diner what role you think I should have in my son's life. You've had him all of five minutes, and you think you're the expert on how to raise him? You really are your father's daughter. He did the same thing when you and Snow were gone. Neither of you were there when he got fevers and earaches, diarrhea and vomiting, tantrums and nightmares. Neither of you witnessed his first word, first smile, first step, first_ anything _, but you think you can tell me how to raise my son better because you're_ heroes _, like that makes you better than me. You know nothing about me, Ms. Swan. Now get the hell off my doorstep and my property."_

_The tears, the fear, the exhaustion are clear in her voice if anyone would take the time to listen. You vow to yourself, here and now, to do just that. "So tell me. Teach me how to raise Henry, teach me about our son."_

_"He is not_ ours _, he is_ mine _." The words are hissed, sibilant in tone, vibrating with pain and fear, with unspoken challenge. "You and your benighted parents have no say in how he's raised, no legal claim to him. Or have you forgotten what a closed adoption means?"_

 _That hurts. She acts like you don't know the rules of the land you were raised in, the system that forced you to grow up far too quickly. "Then teach me about_ your _son, Regina. Because right now, he doesn't want to come home to you. But maybe, if you help me understand, I can help guide him back to the realization that he loves and needs his mom, that I'm not mom material. Maybe… Maybe I can be a cool aunt or something."_

_She lets out a painful bark of laughter. "You're the prophesied Savior, Ms. Swan, the hero that broke the Evil Queen's curse and saved everyone. You're everything he could ever want without the evil and darkness attached. Why would he want me back?"_

_"Because he's a scared ten-year-old kid that is lashing out to hurt those he thinks hurt him. He's trying to protect himself." You take a chance, hope she doesn't tear out your heart where you stand for saying it. "Like you're doing to me right now. You'd rather fight and show your blustery bravado than admit to being weak, vulnerable,_ scared _. This is how I know he's your son, Regina. He needs his mom, he needs you, and I want that, too."_

_Silence descends as she stares at you, but you don't move, don't look away. You won't tell her this, not yet anyway, but you're just as vulnerable and scared right now in coming to her like this. Your parents don't even know you're here. She could kill you where you stand and there's nothing you could do about it._

_But Henry would still have his mother. And you finally found your parents, even if only briefly._

_And you were blessed with the chance to be in her orbit for a short time._

_"Well, come in, Ms. Swan," she finally says, disdain dripping from her tongue despite the flash of gratitude in those dark, expressive eyes. "You've made enough of a spectacle on my doorstep as it is."_

~ ~ ~ *** ~ ~ ~

For a brief moment, you allow yourself to bring out the memories of how that night ended with you doing a walk of shame back to your parents' loft at the crack of dawn after she kicked you out with the explicit promises that no one know about it and that it never happen again. You've managed to keep the first promise over the past three years. The second one? Neither of you have been able to keep that one for very long. Well, until Pan's curse wreaked its havoc on your entire extended family.

She cannot be taken from everyone, not now, not when she's worked so hard to come back from the depths of her own darkness. She cannot revert to that wounded soul that relied on magic, on manipulation to keep from being damaged even more by the people around her. 

You remember when that night on Hook's ship after rescuing Henry, after spending days on Neverland in a constant haze of exhausted wariness and fear and anger simmering just under the surface. Everyone else had passed out for some uninterrupted sleep while Hook himself steered all of you homeward. But Regina? She sat up at Henry's bedside, watching over him, unable to sleep or let him out of her sight.

~ ~ ~ *** ~ ~ ~

_"Regina?"_

_She jumps at your voice, a fireball appearing in her right hand, then disappearing as soon as she recognizes that's it's you. Her shoulders sag, hands shaking with the extent of her exhaustion as she turns back to watch Henry sleeping._

_"Is something wrong up on deck?" The gravelly tone of her voice is further indication of just how depleted her energy levels are._

_"No, everything and everyone else is fine," you say, stepping further into the room to close the door behind you. No one else needs to hear this conversation. "I wanted to see how Henry was doing."_

_Her smile, though weary, is bright and filled with love for the son you share. "He's sleeping peacefully. No signs of nightmares or the like. It's like when he was a baby, once we'd found our bond. I used to sit up like this so many nights to watch him sleep. Did you know that?"_

_You move closer, pulling the chair from the table to sit near the bed, near the two of them. When Regina shares stories of Henry's childhood, you make the time to listen. Everything about her softens in those moments, and she becomes ethereally beautiful._

_"No, I didn't."_

_"He was restless sometimes, and would only settle if I was close enough to touch him. For the first two years of his life, he actually slept in my bed with me. I'd read about the concept of co-sleeping and found it made both of us sleep better to have that contact." Her shoulders droop suddenly. "When he got older and decided he was a big boy and didn't need to sleep in Mama's bed, it hurt me. I never slept as well after that, often waking up to go check on him."_

_"That's why you're sitting with him now, isn't it?"_

_She turns to look at you, naked emotions plain on her face. This is the most vulnerable she's ever been to you, outside of in the throes of orgasm when neither of you could say no to those urges. But this? This is an intentional vulnerability, and the honor burns in your chest._

_"We could have lost him for good, Emma. I don't know that I could have survived losing him. He's my entire world."_

_You shake your head. "You have more than Henry, Regina."_

__You have me. __

_The words stick in your throat, but the slight widening of her eyes make you wonder if she can read it in your expression anyway. Her eyes close briefly and she sways on the bed, but it has nothing to do with the movement of the ship._

_"Regina, you need sleep. You're doing yourself and, more importantly,_ Henry _no good by refusing to take care of yourself."_

_"There's not enough room in the bed with him," she says softly. "And I'm too exhausted to be able to safely use magic to make the bed large enough for both of us."_

_"Then let me do it."_

_She shakes her head. "He can't see me like this."_

_"All right, then let me take you next door to the room we're meant to share and put you to bed." She opens her mouth to protest. "Regina, you don't need to be alone. I'll be sleeping, too. I'm exhausted, but I want to make sure you're not running yourself into an early grave and leaving Henry without his mother when he's going to need you the most to help him deal with what happened on Neverland."_

_You expect her to fight you, to push back. But she doesn't. She turns to face Henry, strokes his hair and leans in to press a gentle kiss to his forehead, murmuring something to him before straightening again. When she faces you, her eyes are glossy with unshed tears._

_"Help me to bed, Emma? And…" She takes a deep breath, as if steeling herself for something terrible about to happen. "And please stay with me? Remember how I said I felt when Henry decided he was too big to sleep with his mama? I don't think I can be alone right now, even as bone deep exhausted as I am."_

_You can read the additional request couched in her words, the one she doesn't easily outright ask. Without hesitation, you nod and stand to replace the chair before offering her a hand up. "Of course." You say your good night to Henry, murmuring a soft promise to take care of his mother, then guide her to the room next door that you've been sharing in shifts during this entire ordeal._

_She doesn't even bother to do much more than remove jacket and boots before falling onto the narrow bed she's been using. Her hand lifts briefly, as if to use magic to change her clothes or make the bed bigger to accommodate you both, but it drops almost instantly, accompanied by a soft whimper. Instinct guides you to using the magic to complete both of those actions for her, even going so far as to make the mattress a bit more comfortable. Her sleepy smile ignites a fire in your chest -- and lower, but you resolutely refuse to think about that right now when she's so depleted on all levels -- and has you scurrying to change into something more comfortable before you crawl in to mold your chest to her back._

_"Love you," she mumbles, body already utterly relaxed and dragged into slumber._

_It punches hard in the gut to hear those words, steals the breath from your lungs. You want to believe they're for you, but she's probably dreaming about Henry already. When she doesn't move any further, and those adorable soft snores that indicate deep sleep escape her, you lean in to press a tender kiss to her temple._

_"I love you, too," you whisper before letting sleep claim you, as well._

~ ~ *** ~ ~ ~

The brief memories of your lovemaking after she'd woken up from a nightmare later that night bring back a rush of feelings you thought you'd dealt with and locked away when both you and she chose other people to get romantically involved with in the aftermath of Pan's curse. It wasn't really even lovemaking, if you're honest with yourself. It was frantic, almost unhinged in its desperation, and you know how just how much Henry's safety and wellbeing meant -- and still means -- to Regina's sense of self-worth. She wasn't kidding when she said he was her entire world that night in the cave on Skull Island.

And now, here you are, watching her struggle against the most powerful force of darkness any of you have ever known, and the terror in her eyes is as palpable as it was that night. Only this time, it's her own soul that she's worried about, and likely how it will affect your son and their relationship. They've only just started the work to reconnect after everything that happened between the year you and Henry were separated from the rest of your family, the fight with Zelena, the issues in New York and with that damned realm where the Author trapped all of you. She's barely been brought back to life from that sacrifice, barely gotten back together with … _him_ and has a family with Henry and Roland, and you have Hook, but she can't lose all of the work she's done to be a good person.

It's been two years, but the way the moonlight glitters in her eyes reminds you of that black diamond in the mine, the night she nearly destroyed herself and Storybrooke to save you, Henry, the rest of the town from something she'd created as a selfish way of saving herself. You still can't believe what happened in the warehouse right before that, how she was able to find the strength to put Henry and the whole town before her own safety when she was still mourning her mother's loss and so physically depleted.

~ ~ *** ~ ~ ~

_"I can't contain this much longer."_

_She's visibly shaking as she works to stop the trigger from going off. You can see the tears in her eyes, the sweat beading at her hairline from her effort. If she can't do this… Without thought, you turn to your parents._

_"Mom… Dad…"_

_You don't even fight it when they pull you into one of those suffocating hugs they're always trying to get you with. There are tears falling, but from which of the three of you doesn't really matter at this point. You can hear Henry moving to stand next to Regina. Part of you wants to stop him, keep him safe, but he deserves the chance to say goodbye to his mother._

_"I love you, Henry," she says emotionally, tears beginning to distort her voice even more. "I only wish I was strong enough to stop all this. I'm just not."_

_And then it hits you, a sudden gasp escaping your lips at the realization. What is it that your parents have practically been hammering into you ever since you and Henry broke the curse with True Love's Kiss? It takes some effort, but you manage to disentangle from the strangle hold your parents have on you, offering them a small, but encouraging smile before you walk over to stand on the other side of the black diamond to face Regina and Henry. He's curled into her side as much as he can while still allowing her to do what she needs to do. The strain is more evident in her expression now, eyes glittering with unshed tears that are just starting to escape down her cheeks._

_"You may not be strong enough, but maybe we are."_

_Henry wisely seems to understand that this means he needs to get out of the way, and you're grateful that he doesn't fight to stay and help. If this is going to take what you think it will, neither you nor Regina can afford to be distracted by Henry's need to join the ranks of the heroes right now. You vaguely hear him joining your parents and backing out of the cavern, hopefully head out toward the entrance where it'll be safer, should the worst happen here and the two of you aren't successful._

_Taking a deep breath, you force yourself to put your family out of your mind and focus on pouring all of your magic into helping Regina stop the black diamond's trigger. The sensation of your own energy sapping as the diamond literally starts to pull it from you is alarming, but you don't even consider stopping. Regina's been doing this for longer than you and she's not stopping. If she can do this, can put aside her own safety for the greater good, so can you. And when all of this hell is over, the two of you need to sit down and have a long ta--_

_The sudden swoop of darkness overwhelms you, but your last thought is whether or not you'll ever get to tell Regina that you love her when she's actually conscious and can hear you._

~ ~ *** ~ ~ ~

You never got the chance to say those words to her, never got to hear her say them when she was able to consciously mean them either. First it was put off to go to Neverland to rescue Henry, then the Missing Year, then… So many things have been happening one after the other without a break, testing everyone's limits, but especially yours and Regina's. And now, here you are, standing across from her with dark magic separating you once again. Only this time, she has no way to fight it off. You can see it in her eyes that she has no idea how to combat it. The tears have started to slip down her cheeks now as the reality of her fate has settled in.

But you do.

"The Apprentice told me we have to do what the sorcerer did! We have to tether it to a person to contain it!"

Her sudden pained gasp and further widening of her eyes, in concert with your mom's startled _Emma!_ is indication enough that Regina has figured it out. "No!" she cries out, shaking her head. "There has to be another way!" 

It tears you up inside to have to say it, to know that you're airing your most intimate feelings and fears to people who don't deserve to hear it. This conversation should be between the two of you. She needs to know why you're considering this, why you _need_ to be the one to do this. She's too important to too many people right now, especially yo-- your son. Henry can't lose her, not after he lost Neal the way he did.

You can't even admit to yourself in your own thoughts that she's too important to you to lose. How can you even think you'd be able to admit it to her if you had the chance?

"There isn't. You've worked too hard to have your happiness destroyed."

"No!"

Your dad figured it out. Your mom probably has, too. Thank god Henry's not here. He'd have figured it out by now and be demanding to be involved in saving Regina. What would he want to name this whole fiasco? Operation Rescue Mom? God, that sounds dumb! You did not pass on the intellect to him, that's all Regina, and you're so grateful to her for that. She needs to be able to continue being the mother he deserves and needs.

Taking a deep breath, you turn to face your parents, only slightly startled to see that Hook has moved closer to them. Why? Is he trying to protect them or have them protect him? It doesn't matter. He's not the one in danger. Regina is. And you need to make sure your parents know what to do.

"You figured out how to take the darkness out of me once." Unbidden, an image of Lily arises in your mind, the best friend you had as a kid, then one of her and Maleficent looking magnificent in their dragon forms. Maleficent would know what to do to help Regina, but she's not here now, so it's up to you to save her. "You need to do it again… As heroes."

They look as conflicted as Regina does, but they nod. That your mom agrees first doesn't surprise you. She's been trying so hard to make up for what she did to Lily, to both of you, and she'll take this opportunity to right that wrong. Who knows? Maybe she'll figure out how to find Maleficent and Lily and get their help to extract the darkness from you once and for all.

"Emma!" Hook says as he moves toward you now, wearing that pained hangdog look on his face that feels entirely performative and manipulative suddenly. "Emma, please! No. Don't do this."

No, he's actually going to do it. He's going to force you into this in front of everyone. In front of Regina. There's a part of you that hates him in this moment for this farce. But you _did_ try to make things work with him. Everyone deserves happiness and love.

You just don't… Not now. Not here.

You knew the darkness would come for someone among you. In hindsight now, a part of you knew it would be Regina, but you hoped it wouldn't be. This is your chance to do the right thing and show everyone in this town that she deserves so much more than she's gotten over the years. And that includes Regina.

"I love you."

You're looking at him as you say the words, but they're meant for her. They were _always_ meant for her.

"No!"

Let him believe the lie a little longer. He could never love the Dark One.

You push him backward and turn to face Regina again, tears blurring your vision as you thrust the dagger into the miasma of darkness. You hope she can see the words in your eyes that you cannot say to her.

_I love you. I'm giving you your happy ending._

As the darkness swarms around you, entering the blade to violate you in ways you never expected, you can see her tears, her fear, her gratitude, her _love_. And then, just before the darkness cuts off all of your surroundings, you watch her run back into his arms. She loves you, but she's not _in love_ with you. It's all right. She's going to be all right, not succumb to the darkness again. That's all that matters to you. 

_I can't quit you._

Everything in life boils down to a split second decision made in the heat of the moment. Anyone that tells you otherwise is a lying son of a bitch. Yes, you may plan and theorize all you want in advance, but the true decision is made at the last second, a mental coin flip of _Do I or don't I?_ that will have repercussions you deal with for the rest of your life. The same goes for everyone around you. No one lives in a vacuum, after all. 

Your choice is ensuring that the goodness of the woman you love remains intact.

No matter what damage it does to yours.

She is worth it. 

Always.


End file.
